General tw: delusions? And rambling (also the drawing only looks right in light mode te heck)
I hate that I keep assigning negative connotations to things— these random things will bother me for lord knows what I think I’m just delusional and ik it’s stupid but there’s nothing I can do, I’m making a flag and these two colors happened to remind me of one of my friends— i don’t have any problems with them we’re good friends but for some reason my brain really hates that. And this isn’t the first time, some colors combos I’ll like but then will ick me or I’ll see or make something— it’s normally a color combination or end result— that makes m3 uneasy.
sometimes whatever I’ll draw my brain will just hate and it definitely frustrates me. Or even things that aren’t drawings, an object— phrase— place that my brain just goes “nope” or this doesn’t feel right get rid of it stop doing it, or this looks like this so you hate it get stop it/get rid of it. If that makes any sense. This has caused me to throw away outfits, perfumes, things I made that literally did nothing wrong. I haven’t really mentioned this to anyone and when I have I never got an answer, so it’s just my stupid brain.
Hmmm… doesn’t sound like delusions, maybe something similar to synesthesia?
^agree. It sounds similar to my number pattern thing
I don’t really know what synesthesia is? Whatever it is is bothering me, who would I even bring it up to?
A school counselor, a friend
“Synesthesia is when your brain routes sensory information through multiple unrelated senses, causing you to experience more than one sense simultaneously. Some examples include tasting words or linking colors to numbers and letters”