...or maybe i'm just stupid

Creativity
1

TW: sh, mental problems
Is there a mental disorder or any kind of disorder that’s like your head does this weird thing where there’ll be random times where life feels fake. like nothing is really happening and if you fall down or get hurt or die, nothing really matters because it’s not really happening. like actions and reactions are just your mind playing you and things are kinda fuzzy and your mind just spaces out. but then it’s back to normal and it doesn’t happen for a long time, or it hasn’t yet for me. then, at other times, i’ll be drawing, typing, etc., right, just doing some activity, any activity at all, and then i’ll have the strangest thing happen. i’ll feel like what i’m doing is really stupid to say the least, or like im just like this little speck in the universe doing weird things with resources and it kind of scares me. and then i feel like my life doesn’t matter, and everyone overreacts about everything they’re doing in life and start thinking like what’s the point of life anyway? like why should i want to live? and kind of sparks self-harming thoughts, but then i calm down and everything goes back to normal. I’ve had this feeling since i was really young, but the life is fake thing started happening like a few years ago. what is this? are these two different things or symptoms of the same thing?
… or maybe i’m just stupid lol

  • Rowan/Dark, he/they
2

Derealization?

3

Disassociation? There’s a disorder connected to it
I’ve dissociated before and it was a kinda similar feeling. Nothing was felt real, like i was outside of my body. When i looked into the mirror it was me, duh (mirrors still work no matter your mental state), but it didn’t feel like me. I couldn’t really feel anything, well, i could, but it was like detached

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The fake thing is more like derealization, but ty both for helping! ^W^

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No prob! I do hope you can get some help <3

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^ :slight_smile:
Does anyone know what the everyone-is-just-a-speck-in-the-universe-and-we-are-really-weird-and-also-self-harm thing is tho?

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Prob just realizing that the universe is infinite mixed with self hatred

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^haha yes it is, but it’s like scary, and it feels like a mental problem because then it goes back to normal and happens a lot.

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It’s like a pause, then a “what am i doing?” thing

10

Oop i also forgot another thing where i literally forget what i look like and who i am. i forget everything i did, experienced, saw, everything. and then i realize. and im like woah.

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I was thinking that this could be dissactiaction or derealtization

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I get that sometimes, specifically more the speck-in-the-universe part and it makes me feel negative emotions until I get distracted again