So for context I’m a part of a system! I’ve been the host for a bit over a year now!
Before me(Noxie) almost /all/ the hosts were masc-aligned in some way.
However, ever since I formed I’ve considered myself strongly fem-aligned (gxrl/gxrlflux in specific), which is kind of the ‘opposite’ of all the ex-hosts.
However, I’ve noticed over the last year that /sometimes/ my gender might have some ‘masc-ness’ mixed in there? I kept trying to deny it and push it off to some alter co-fronting and their identity ‘bleeding in with mine’ if that makes sense, but I realize that might not be the case since it keeps happening??
I suspect I might be genderfaer (fluid between everything but binary male), however, the issue is I DON’T want to experience masc-aligned genders? The idea makes me really uncomfortable and feel kind of repulsed + dreadful.
I have nothing wrong with my headmates being masc-aligned, I just hate the idea of /me/ specifically being masc-aligned in any shape or form.
Is there a label for being repulsed by being a certain gender or being perceived as such?? Or am I just in denial or something??
Can someone /be/ a certain gender while actively being repulsed by it + ignoring it?? Being masc-aligned makes me feel dysphoric which is weird considering I might actually be that sometimes??
Linaricgender or fluxpercifemale?
@Brojogon @CosmicEevee105 thank you both!